The Great Divide
by Athena356
Summary: A certain couple faces troubles...please r/r! (structured a bit differently, tell me if you like the format please) And each chapter will be very short, but updated quickly!
1. Someone else's (disclaimer)

I'm trying something new. the disclaimer goes in a separate chapter, because I want to start my fics with a stronger image than that :). I hope it works, and that ff.n doesn't remove it or something, because I really think it's a good idea. hehe. Anyway, I don't own...anyone. is that a shock? It shouldn't be. The prologue is really short, and I expect chapter 1 soon. r/r and enjoy(ok, but you don't *have* to review my disclaimer...:D)~~~Thena


	2. Standing on the Edge (prologue)

There was a big space between them. The space had been growing larger since they'd gotten together. It had always been there, but neither had noticed until it seemed too late to build a bridge and connect once more. Neither was a master engineer, neither had experience with this sort of thing. So they let the divide grow faster, held by a few weak ties all the way down near the bottom, and they stood on cliffs across the valley from each other, watching as a river flowed into the valley and made it impossible to cross, severing all ties but one.


	3. Just As Well (chapter 1-Abby)

"Abby, do you want to have dinner tonight?"  
  
"I don't know, I'm not sure if I can. We'll see later, OK?"  
  
"Abby, I really think we need to talk."  
  
We'd never needed to talk before. Straight to bed. Worked out just fine. I hate talking. He should know I hate talking. Well, he should know a lot of things about me that he doesn't know. Because I don't talk to him. Because I can't talk to him.   
  
"Luka, what time do you get off today?"  
  
"I told you this morning, Abby. I still get off at 7."  
  
"Fine, I'm off in 20 minutes, I'll meet you at my place at...7:20?"  
  
"OK Abby. Make it 7:30 and I'll bring dinner."  
  
"As long as it's not from that thai place." I try to smile, but I'm too tired. I couldn't sleep last night. I haven't been sleeping well lately.  
  
"Is pizza OK?"  
  
"Whatever you want, Luka."  
  
"Are you OK Abby?"  
  
"Sure...fine. Tired. Busy. Can we do this later?"  
  
"Yeah, sure." He says it coldly, walking away, not turning to look back. If I had more energy, or if I thought it would change anything, I'd yell to him. But it would only make a scene in the hospital, something I've done quite enough this year. In fact, we both have.   
  
"Luka..." I say quietly, barely a whisper, but the sound is caught up in the yells and endless conversations of the Cook County General ER. It's just as well, I don't know what I'd say if he came back anyway. I never know what to say. Neither does he. It was working fine...we told ourselves that it was anyway. Who knows. Maybe it's all for the best like this. No emotional attachment, no one gets hurt. I'll just keep telling myself that when I see the look in his eyes before he walked away. See if it works.


	4. The Blind Leading The Blind Into The Aby...

She looks beautiful, as always. Her face is turned away, her body forming a barrier between us. I want to communicate with her, I want to do something. I've never had anything like this before, and I'm not sure of what I'm supposed to do. She doesn't seem to want to do anything. But we need to talk, because if we don't...I'm scared of loosing her. I know we don't have much, but we have something, and I can't give it up. I can't loose another woman. I know it's awful of me to hang onto Abby for dear life because I lost the others, but I can't help it. And I do love her, or else we wouldn't have lasted so long this way. One of us surely would have broken it off. Unless it was too comfortable for us to break out of our little routine.   
  
The thing is, it's not comfortable. It's the most uncomfortable and shaky relationship I've ever been in, and I feel like it's going to come tubling down at my feet any minute. I don't want that. Who knows what Abby wants. She'd never tell me.  
  
"I want to know where our relationship is going, Abby."  
  
"I...I don't know what to say to that, Luka."  
  
"I think that is precisely the problem. Neither of us knows what to do, and instead of admitting it, we're walking blindly forward into a world where everything stays the same and no one has to commit. But there is no world like that. And instead of trying to figure it out, we draw ourselves tighter into our little cuckoos, and...what, what is it?" She has an irresistable little smirk on her face.  
  
"cocoons. Not cuckoos." She said, helplessly stifling a giggle. "Sorry...I couldn't help it."  
  
"Cocoons. Thank you....where was I...oh yes. We draw ourselves tighter into our little cocoons and we separate ourselves from each other. And it doesn't help the problem. If we want this to work, we have to talk, Abby. I know you can, I see you talk to Carter all the time."  
  
"Is that how this is going to be?" She asks defensively, clutching a cushion from my couch to her body.   
  
"I was just saying...Abby, is there something about me that keeps you from speaking to me?"  
  
"Luka, it's not you! I can't do it, Luka. I just can't. I don't know why, but I've tried to talk to you, and it just doesn't end up...there's something wrong with me, I don't know what."  
  
"Abby, there's nothing wrong with you, there's just something wrong with *us*. It's no one's fault, or both of our faults...either way. We can move past it, or we can let it separate us."  
  
It felt more and more like it was going to separate us, not that there was much of an "us" to break apart. I want to grab her and shake her and show her what we're doing to each other. We're hurting each other every day. We both need someone, but it's looking less and less like we need each other.  
  
"Luka, you want to know why I can't talk to you?"  
  
"I'd like to help you, Abby."  
  
"I can't talk to you because there's too much going on with me, and it's all painful. And I don't want to have to cause you that pain, or make you feel sorry for me. I don't want you to think of my problems when you think of me."  
  
"But I do, I always do. I think of what your problems must be doing to you, how hard it must be for you to deal with them. I wonder why you can't tell me, I wonder if it's that you want to keep it secret from me because it will hurt me as your boyfriend, or just because you feel like you can't talk to me. I want you to feel like you can come to me with anything."  
  
"How often have you told me about your problems? What's stopping you?" She looks up at me with tears in her eyes. "Luka, I can't do this anymore, I just can't. Forcing each other to talk about our feelings...it isn't normal. Not that I'm saying anything in my life is or ever has been normal, but I would have liked this to be. And I can't pretend like this anymore. I'm sorry."  
  
"Well I'm sure John Carter will be thrilled." I didn't mean to say that, I instantly look away, but the damage is done. I want to take it all back, hold her and tell her how sorry I am. But from the look on Abby's face, there will be none of that.  
  
"So that's what this is about? Carter? What's wrong with you? I can't believe you'd even think that! I think you should leave, Luka. Now."  
  
"If I leave, we're never going to work this out."  
  
"Then maybe that's how it should be. Goodbye Luka." She stands and opens the door, and I walk nubly to the hall. When I turn to see her one last time, she has slammed the door at my back. Closing herself off, as always. Why should I be surprised? Because this time, she's closing that door for good, and there is no "us" anymore.


	5. A Stronger Bridge(epilogue)

They stand now on separate land masses, the last tie severed. He finds himself staring at her sometimes, his feet hanging off the edge, ready to jump off and try to make it across. But he never does, mostly because she has stepped away from the edge and isn't looking at him the same way. He looks around and sees that he's on an island, with nothing connecting him to the mainland. She is connected by a strong bridge built on a solid foundation, one built by 2 people who, on their own, were not master engineers, but they built on anyway, and saw how well it worked. They together are masters, builders of the strongest bridge. That one will never fall down, it can weather all storms. It's just a matter of building in the right spot.


End file.
